Why the word no can be our most powerful motivational tool

So, I asked myself, why does hearing the word no really hurt me? Well, it stems from a deep rooted issue of not feeling good enough when I get rejected. It prevents me from attaining my hopes and dreams effortlessly. It is the exact opposite of what I want to hear so the lack of control that I have in my outcomes appears to me that my life is not going the way I would like to have it.

Now, when we alter our thinking to one out of a negative based mindset, and shift into a positive one, here is why the word no becomes our most powerfully motivational tool. Say, you ask someone out on a date and they say no. Obviously, that's a bruise to the ego. But why did you ask that someone out in the first place? Did you take the time to get to know them before you asked and deciphered that they would be someone that you would like to get to know on a romantic level? Or was it really out of loneliness? Or, in some cases, simply because you were hoping to have sex?

If we jump on impulse, then the tendency for rejection becomes far greater. I'm not by any means saying that we have to be reclusive because I think not only are taking calculated risks much healthier for the soul, but much more rewarding as well. It promotes growth and vitality within us all. Anyway, back to the rejection. When you think about why you asked what you did in the first place, most of the times, it wasn't what you truly wanted.It was a diversion created by your mind manipulating your own self into thinking that's what you wanted. In the event that it was truly what you wanted, the rejection will only become a motivational force rather than a deterrent.

The word no teaches us to delve further within ourselves to our own realizations about our wants and needs. Forcing yourself into the nitty gritty of your true wants isn't easy, it takes quite a bit of introspection, but with that, comes a level of self-awareness that makes us open up to the possibility of no rather than the fear of the word. Hearing what we think is the forbidden word is in actuality the most liberating word.

Eva WexlerComment